Help destroy the Death Star and get a tax deduction without getting up from your chair

// July 2nd, 2008 // Other news

High net worth individuals like us are assailed by charities of various flavours in the months of May and June, asking us to part with our heard-earned to save the Lesser Tassled Dimwit from certain extinction at the hands of evil developers, faceless corporations, climate change, radical religious groups, the Grand Moff Tarkin and the unchallenged might of the Imperial Death Star.

But let’s not ponce around. Let’s call a spade a spade. By “save” they mean “prolong the passing of”; by “support” they mean “pay for my business class airfare to that conference in Barcelona” and by “unchallenged might of the Imperial Death Star” they mean “a few small x-wing fighters slipping undetected through the Death Star’s defences, firing a photon torpedo down a poorly-protected ventilation shaft, no harder, it would appear, than shooting womprats in your T-29 back home… But I digress…

I’m here to ask for your money for a cause more plausible, with a much smaller special effects budget, with much more important benefits.


Photos from our training for this year’s Oxfam Trailwalker Sydney

Truth be told, if I’d had my act slightly more together I’d have had my own donation request queued up with all the others in your inbox last month. But surprise! My act has been altogether not-together.

I’m a glass-is-half-full kind of guy, so the angle is thus: your very first opportunity to earn yourself a tax deduction the new tax year! 

Here’s how…        

Sacha Ward, Meshlin Khouri, Tony Burrett and I are training to complete the Oxfam Trailwalker in Sydney at the end of August. We hope to complete this gruelling 100km of rugged bush track in about 26 hours – that’s right, non-stop, no-sleep, walk all the way from Brooklyn on the northern edge of Sydney to Middle Head right in the centre of Sydney, blisters, exhaustion, delirium and whatever else may befall us. More about the event on the official Oxfam Trailwalker site.

100km of pain: Oxfam Trailwalker Sydney!

Here’s a freaky fact: in the approximate 350km i’ll walk in training and the actual event, I’ll take about 3,550,000 steps. You can be sure there’s 3,549,000 or so I could easily do without taking. And that’s just trail work, it’s not counting the gym sessions, cycling, basketball and other exercise I’ll be doing to prepare myself for the event. It takes one new pair of trail running shoes each time I do this. I wear them out in the space of a few months. Talk about working hard for your money!
What else do you need to know before parting with your hard-earned? Well, unlike the Rebel Alliance’s attack on the Death Star, the odds are, we’ll make it. This will be my third time and I’ve learned quite a bit the hard way (see my tips for newbies for more ghoulish fun). 
We’re not anticipating any defensive fire, shielding or attacks from enemy craft. We don’t have to fire a photon torpedo at a small, rapidly-moving target. We would, however, benefit from using the Force. We shall have to practice that.     

By supporting Oxfam Trailwalker you are not supporting a doomed attempt to save something too stupid to save itself, such as the Lesser Tassled Dimwit. Oxfam is my charity of choice because it has no hidden religious, moral or political agenda to peddle – it exists to help disadvantaged people here and overseas achieve self-sustaining agriculture, education and healthcare. That doesn’t include sending them bibles, teaching them how to make running shoes in a factory for a few cents a day, or go work as a cleaner in the UAE. 

Unlike the charities sitting in business class on the plane to Barcelona, Oxfam manages to do all this while spending only 5% of its budget on administration. It’s a smart operation, run by clever people. I’ve met some of the clever people building and managing Oxfam’s impressive online platform, and if I could poach them, I would.

Finally, if you donate to my team’s fund-raising goal of $4,000, I will give you the option of opting-out of future email updates from me both during training and during the event itself, when I’ll be mobile blogging text and photos right the way through the day… and night… and early morning… times you’ll wish you’d remembered to mute or switch off your phone. Donate now and sleep in peace.
Our team name is “Glutes for Punishment” and we are Team #183 in this year’s Sydney event. You can donate online in your name, in your company’s name, or anonymously. You can donate to our team or donate specifically for me.
It’s all good. Don’t hesitate! Donate now, donate often! Get that tax deduction! Feel the Force guiding towards your credit card! Trust the Force!
Thanks!