Giving, getting, and the Three Types of People

// November 3rd, 2008 // Industry, Startup

Photo by Nite Scape

Whether it’s business or charity, the money almost never comes from where you expected — have you noticed?

Last weekend I took part in the Sydney to The Gong bike ride, a 90km social fund-raising event put on by the MS Society. Participating with 14,000 other cyclists, volunteers and support crews is inspirational. I try to raise some donations from friends and business contacts too.

I’ve been doing a lot of fund-raising lately; for Oxfam, another MS Society event, the Juvenile Diabetes Assocation, GetUp, the Smith Family, and for the Serkong School in the Himalayas. I’ve noticed that my ‘regular’ donors have started drying up as they received repeated requests for just a few dollars more. Fair enough, that’s expected.

But what’s unexpected is who donates. Every time, there have been high-net-worth friends who have the cash but don’t donate, and friends and colleagues of mine who I know are doing it tough, yet they donate generously and often. In between, there’s some noise in the data that ruffles the line on the graph — people I happen to catch on the right day, people who know someone affected by multiple sclerosis when I happen to be raising money for the MS Society. But it’s not hard to remove the noise and see that there’s only three types of people in this world:

  1. People who give more than they take;
  2. People who take more than they give; and
  3. People who believe there are only n types of people in this world ;-)

Whether it’s raising funds for a charity, finding time to help refine the idea for a new business, or even the number of days outstanding on your accounts receivable, it’s always the same pattern.

Some believe the winner is the one who dies with the most toys, and every dollar you give away will take twice as much effort to earn back. Bills should never be paid until the last minute. Do unto others before they do unto you.

Others believe that for everything you give selflessly, you’re repaid many times over. That it’s how you live, not what you own, that defines success. That businesses grow faster when they grow together. Treat others as you’d like to be treated.

I don’t want to propose that one type is ‘better’, or ‘realistic’ or more or less moral. I just ask that you take time out to establish which type you are, and avoid the other type.

It’s difficult for Type One and Type Two people to get along in the real world, but it’s next to impossible for them to work together in business. They will be at loggerheads over all the crucial underlying strategy, whether they’re working together on a corporate sales team or cofounding a new business together. Do we take a risk and invest in our customers/staff/business model/marketing? Or do we make sure we ‘get before we give’ and force our customers, employees and partners to take on as much of the risk as possible?

Recently I was invited to advise a pair of startup founders; an evenly-matched pair in terms of contribution to the business, equity stake, experience and age — everything the same, except that one guy was Type One and the other was Type Two. They were over the honeymoon period and well into the tough times and needed a third-party opinion on what might be wrong and how it might be fixed. 

My advice? End the venture now while it’s still possible for one partner to exit without too much pain. The Type One partner should always sell out to the Type Two partner: it’s cheaper, quicker, and less acrimonious.

Apply the same simple rule to the people in your life; those you go into business with, the people you hire, the new business prospects you pitch to, and most of all, the people you want to be friends with or fall in love with. There’s only two kinds of people, and they don’t mix well.

…big love to the friends and colleagues who’ve supported my business and charity work over the years. You know who you are. I know you’re not doing it for the thanks, but thanks.