Seven steps to finding the dream job and work/life balance
Miles Campbell, founder of TTA.edu.au and I like to discuss the big issues, whether over a beer at our regular Pub Night talk fest, at events like Interesting South, or often when we’re meant to be watching the kids and making sure they don’t fall off the swings. Miles is far too busy thinking big thoughts to have time to blog, though not too busy to email me when an idea occurs to him (yes, I’ve tried explaining that blogging can be just as quick as emailing but he’s so old skool.)
The following post, on finding a healthy work/life balance and how to recognise one when you find it, is essentially one of Miles’ emails, slightly edited by me. Over to you, Miles…
To be well, most of us should work for the following reasons:
- The stabilising routine it adds to life;
- The sense of accomplishment it gives us;
- The community it provides us with;
- The sense of identity it provides us;
- The amount of the week that it distracts us; and
- Finally, the money it provides us.
The optimum job, in my opinion, has the following characteristics:
- It should take up about 30-40 hours a week (including commuting time). This should drop to 20-30 hours a week if you have children under 10.
- It should be close to home. Ideally walking distance
- You should enjoy the community that you work in.
- You should do work where at least 60% of your time is spent doing something that you are good at
- You should look forward to a day of work
- Work should be the right mix of challenge and mastery depending on your personality.
- You should work hard
Overthink, Overwork, Overorganize (Photo by Quinn.Anya)
It seems to me that most people in our society either work too much or too little. For many of those who work too much, I am convinced that they could achieve the same outcomes in much fewer hours. Work generally expands to fill the time available. I believe that most people do between four and six hours a day of effective work. If a work culture exists whereby people arrive at 8am and don’t leave till 6pm, then they will stuff around and be inefficient, and hold unnecessarily long meetings etc. to kill time until they can go home. Once you are away from home for more than eight hours a day, then the rest of life will be a compromise. Exercise, friendships, marriages, parenting, hobbies, sleep, household maintenance, celebrations, socialising etc will all be compromised. If you are on a salary, then it can be almost impossible to work sensible hours, as you must toe the line.
For those who work too little, it’s generally either because they have young children, or they are retired, or can’t find a job. Though this can be nice for a while, I think there is a danger that in the long run, the loss of all those things that work provides can make it difficult to maintain well being. I think a lot of mothers (and a few dads) get caught out because they look to parenting to provide their work needs, but whereas a great career has long term prospects, parenting suddenly dumps you when the children become independent. You then have to start again which can be hard. Having said that, it’s not like most families have many options. Our workplaces are built around most people working 45 – 50 hour weeks with another 10 hours of commuting on top. This means that someone generally has to bail from their job once kids come along.
“I’m spending money I don’t have, to buy things I don’t need, to impress people I don’t like.”
Some people work too much, earn heaps of money and then retire, therefore working too little. I think that people will generally survive this and make the best of it, but I don’t think it’s ideal. It is a common cause of depression. I think that it’s much better if people can work a sensible amount until they can no longer work.
I also believe that most people don’t walk their own talk. Most people will tell you that money isn’t going to make them happy, but they don’t live that way. Most people end up sacrificing huge amounts of what they claim is important in order to earn more money. What’s that great line?… “I’m spending money I don’t have, to buy things I don’t need, to impress people I don’t like.” I think that beneath this is our survival instinct. We have an irrepressible instinct to gather resources. We live with constant anxiety that we won’t have financial security, which drives us to work more and more. Then kicks in our instinct to consume (for the pleasure hit) and to keep up with the jones’s (fear of rejection from the group).
The risks of working too much are far greater than the risks of not earning enough.
I often coach myself through this anxiety with statements along the lines of “What is the likely outcome of me not earning enough money to maintain my current lifestyle?”. When you are able to rationally think it through you realise that you could quite easily cut down spending, or move to a smaller house or move to a cheaper city. No one starves in Australia. When you look rationally at what are the most likely negative outcomes in your life, they are far more likely to be the result of working too much than from earning too little. In saying this I am assuming that working too much is taking it’s toll on relationships, friendships and your mental health. This kind of stuff can then lead to unhappy marriages (or divorce), loneliness, anxiety, substance abuse, health problems (due to stress, poor eating and lack of exercise). So I think that the risks of working too much are far greater than the risks of not earning enough. I also think that for a lot of guys, that working hard is a simple way to justify their lives. Keeping everything balanced is complicated, whereas an obsessive work life can be quite simple, and if there are the added benefits of doing a job that you are good at, and you are well rewarded, and you seem to be important in that domain, it’s a way to have some sense of meaning and control in a nice simple formula.
here endeth the rant.
cheers
miles
5 Responses to “Seven steps to finding the dream job and work/life balance”
Leave a Reply
Additional comments powered by BackType
Thanks for this, Al and Miles. Really, really wise words.
Thanks Lloyd. This morning I’m hating myself for writing a headline that starts with, “Seven steps…” when I am so sick of blog headlines like, “Three Tips for Twitter Success” and “12 Great Ideas for Writing Like A Pro” but Miles’s story is great.
Thank you for sharing this thoughtful post. I’m someone who does the long hours, loads of international travel and craves a fairer balance in my everyday – if I applied the optimum job characteristics would I enjoy ‘work’ and life more? The simple answer is yes. And it would address the questions from my kids (7&5) that make me wonder why I do what I do – can you not travel so much and can you get a job closer to home.
It really raises the question, why not make the change now? why can’t it be the way we want it to be.
Pete, thanks for your honest and considered comments. I’m expecting a review copy of the book The Perfect Gift For A Man by Gavin Heaton and Steven Crombie. When I’m done reviewing it I’m going to post it on to you, as thanks.
You’re right, why can’t we make the change now? Well, from the perspective of someone who has made the change, looking back on it, it wasn’t nearly as big a deal as I feared it would be. Income changes, relationship with partner and responsibilities change, but you deal with it, and the best bit is what you learn through dealing with it makes you a better person.
But it’s tough, particularly when you’re probably risking not just the income and the purpose you get from leading a business, but most likely a big chunk of equity in the business, structured specifically to discourage you ever leaving.
Two things I don’t need to tell you:
(1) If you put it off, it doesn’t get easier later. You become more critical to your business, more people depend on you, and your golden handcuffs get heavier and more valuable.
(2) Your seven and five year old won’t ever be seven and five again. In about five years time, your eldest kid is going to want to hang out with you less and less. At some point in their teens, you become the most embarrassing person in the world in their eyes, and that can last until they become an adult. So the window is fast closing if you want to be around to share two precious childhoods.
You don’t need to quit your job today, but how about starting to plan some changes now? It doesn’t need to be a sea-change, in fact, it’ll be better for you, partner, children and employer if you make it a ‘migration path’ – a series of baby-steps that you and they agree are important to take.
I’ll ping you on LinkedIn to get a postal address. Thanks again!
Alan, thanks for your response and completely agree with the point that you raise. I really feel that it is about making a realistic plan and committing to it with a timeframe that is not ‘one day’.
On the offer of the book, thank you that would be appreciated and i’ll pay it forward to the Inspire foundation.