Oh, Facebook, could you send me a more boring marketing email?
I’ve been writing EDMs lately and that’s prompted a blog post or two on how to do it better.
This morning Facebook sends me what may be the least interesting EDM to land in my inbox in the past 12 months.
I know Facebook has some tight brand and interface guidelines, but it’s got to be hurting their EDM open rates.
The only reason I’d open this one is to lambast them on Doing Words!
Let’s count the sins they’ve committed…
The Apple Mail preview pane view of this email tells a story. And it's a long, boring story that nobody wants to read (but click the image to see a larger version).
Fails the glance test
Most email users make a quick instinctive decision based on a glance at the preview pane in their email client. If it’s engaging and exciting, open it now. If it’s not, maybe read it later, maybe delete it without reading. Glance at this preview pane section of this email and tell me honestly, is there anything that draws the eye in a glance? No. Glance-worthy content includes:
- Bright, colourful and surprising images;
- Large, dynamic headlines (usually rendered as images to allow you to use interesting typography), and (drum roll)
- Exciting offers targeted at the reader, not the marketing director
Wasting the preview zone
The part of the EDM seen in the preview pane of the email client is the only part of the email viewed by most customers. If your open rates are an industry average three percent, 97% or less of your customers will see only the preview pane. Every pixel of space in the preview zone is precious and vertical pixels are twice as precious as horizontal. Look how many vertical pixels are wasted on the dark blue brand banner, the bland pale blue headline zone and the unremitting blandness of the layout and copy in the remainder. Look at how the title “Facebook Ads newsletter” is duplicated in the preview zone and the subject line of the EDM.
Wasting the subject line
After the preview zone, the most important variable determining open rates is the subject line of your EDM. I’ve written about this before and it’s an industry-wide problem, but there’s no point saying “Facebook Ads newsletter” in the subject line when the from: address says “Facebook Ads” and the content is obviously all about advertising on Facebook. EDMs have no space for redundancy and the-bleeding-obvious. Waste the reader’s scanning time and they won’t waste any further time opening your email. Make the subject line include the most exciting news item in your newsletter.
Painfully terrible copy
The copy in your preview zone must sizzle, zing and pop, in 25 words or less. Instead we have turgid crud like this:
In addition to harnessing the social graph by targeting your connections’ friends, every “Friends of connection” targeted ad promoting a Page or Event includes social content about a friend’s interaction with your business, amplifying the relevancy of your ad.
[Shudder]. I might have rewritten this as:
Did you know you can make your Page or Event ad more relevant by adding your connections’ friends?
The copy in the preview zone’s main story is 233 words total without saying anything exciting that couldn’t be said more engagingly in 50 words and a diagram. One sentence is 39 words!
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New blog post: Oh, Facebook, could you send me a more boring marketing email? http://bit.ly/3xyUyv
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RT @bigyahu: New blog post: Oh, Facebook, could you send me a more boring marketing email? http://bit.ly/3xyUyv
This comment was originally posted on Twitter
Oh, Facebook, could you send me a more boring marketing email? |
Doing Words | Helping startups tell their story http://bit.ly/1k98C3
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